When Indecision Isn’t Just About the Dress

By Ashley Maturin

Here’s something I didn’t expect: some of the times I feel most excited about new things are also the times I stall the most.

I’ll get an idea or make a plan—something I’m genuinely looking forward to—and then suddenly I’m analyzing every possible detail. I convince myself I need to gather all the data before I take the first step.

Sometimes it’s something small, like picking a dress for a wedding. But it still turns into a whole mental loop:

• Who will be there?

• What’s the vibe?

• What does the location say about what I should wear?

And underneath it all, there’s this push and pull between two parts of me:

• The version that wants to show up confident, intentional, and put together

• And the version that whispers, “None of this really matters.”

Sound familiar?

What Indecision Feels Like in the Body

Indecisiveness isn’t always about being unsure. A lot of the time, it’s about trying to be too many things at once.

We want to be seen as authentic and true to ourselves. But we also want to be included, accepted, and “appropriate” for the situation we’re walking into.

And when those needs clash? Your body knows.

For me, it feels like:

• A tight knot in my gut

• A lump in my throat when I’m not saying what I want to say

• A shutdown in my chest, like I’m holding back who I really am

Sometimes indecision isn’t just mental. It’s physical. Your body’s way of saying “this doesn’t feel good” long before your mind can explain why.

Why the Little Things Feel So Big

It’s not just about the dress, or the dinner plans, or how clean your house is before company comes over.

It’s about being seen. It’s about being judged. It’s about trying to balance your truth with the expectations you think others have of you.

And all of that? It can cause decision fatigue—fast.

What is decision fatigue?

It’s the mental and emotional exhaustion that builds up from making too many choices in a day. We all wake up with a limited amount of mental energy. And by the time you’ve decided what to wear, what to feed the kids, how to respond to five different texts, what time to leave the house, and whether or not to stop for coffee—you’ve already burned through half your decision-making power.

So when something “small” pops up in the afternoon or evening—like what to cook for dinner or what to wear to an event—it suddenly feels monumental. Not because it’s big, but because you’re spent.

No wonder so many of us feel frozen by choices that shouldn’t be that hard. We’re exhausted from making decisions before the important ones even show up.

But over time, I’ve learned that one thing helps more than anything else:

Knowing my values.

Once I got clear on what actually matters to me, decisions started to feel a little easier. Not effortless. But more aligned. More honest.

If a choice doesn’t reflect what I stand for, it’s probably not the right one for me.

And if I’m hesitating, it usually means I’m trying to be someone I’m not—or trying to avoid disappointing someone else.

What Happens When You Stay in the Wrong Fit

Here’s the thing:

• Staying in a job you’ve outgrown is a decision

• Keeping quiet when something matters to you is a decision

• Choosing not to change because it’s easier than confronting the truth? That’s a decision too

If your body is sending signals—gut pain, tight chest, voice getting stuck—listen.

You might not be able to change everything right away. But you can shift the way you relate to your decisions. You can notice the signs. You can name the fear underneath. You can choose differently.

And you don’t have to do it alone.

✨ I help people clear the trapped emotions that make decisions feel overwhelming. You don’t have to stay stuck in patterns that don’t fit. Emotional Balance Sessions can help you reconnect with what matters and find your way forward—without all the noise.

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