How to Release Resentment and Reclaim Your Energy | Emotion Refresh
The Hidden Burnout Behind Resentment (And How to Clear It)
By Ashley Maturin
Here’s a feeling I didn’t want to admit I had…
Resentment. At being corrected.
Not long ago, I scheduled what I thought would be a casual, get-to-know-you lunch with someone I was excited to connect with professionally. I followed up the day before, confirmed the time, and in a moment of spontaneity, I thought it might be cool to bring my son along — to let him quietly witness what a modern business chat looks like.
This is very unlike me. I usually keep business and parenting separate. But that day, I thought, “Why not?”
Here’s the thing:
I didn’t communicate that plan.
I didn’t ask if it would be appropriate.
And when I showed up a few minutes late, child in tow… it wasn’t received well.
They looked me straight in the eye and kindly said, “I don’t think this is going to work today.”
I was shocked. Embarrassed. Defensive.
And honestly? I resented being called out — especially in front of my son.
When resentment takes over
It had been a long time since someone had said “no” to me like that—directly and without sugarcoating. It hit a nerve I didn’t know was still raw.
I felt my father's voice rise up in my head with all kinds of inappropriate reactions I’d never use in real life—but they still rushed through me. My ego wanted to bolt. Another part of me wanted to double down and make excuses.
I was humiliated… and I was mad.
Mad at her.
Mad at myself.
Mad at the fact that I’d let boundaries blur so much in my work-life flow that I didn’t even recognize I was being unprofessional.
But I breathed. I dropped my son off. And I went back to the meeting.
The pressure to blend everything perfectly
When you work for yourself, it’s easy to forget that your idea of “flexibility” doesn’t always match how others do things. I had this unconscious expectation that things would just be cool — that I could blend motherhood, business, inspiration, and spontaneity all into one messy but meaningful moment.
But that’s not how it landed.
That experience reminded me: you can’t always be everything at once.
You can be soft and structured. But you still have to choose how you show up.
What resentment felt like in my body
It was immediate:
Rage in my chest
Jaw clenched
Shoulders locked
A fiery ball of “How DARE she?”
It felt like an emotional flash fire — brief, hot, and totally consuming. I was furious. Not just at her… but at what the moment mirrored back to me.
I knew I had to move the energy before it rooted deeper, before I did something I’d regret. So I got in my car, cranked the music, and sang like my life depended on it. Loud. Messy. Freeing.
By the time I returned to the meeting, the tension hadn’t left — it had just settled into a quiet, controlled simmer. The adrenaline hadn’t fully left my system, and the knot in my stomach made eating impossible. Tea felt like the only thing I could manage — something warm to hold while I tried to ground myself and keep it together.
Is resentment a body “no”?
Maybe. Sometimes.
But in this case, resentment was a mirror.
It reflected all the ways I wasn’t setting clear expectations—for myself or others.
It showed me the places I still needed to heal.
I realized I had shown up in a way that didn’t align with the kind of professional relationship I was hoping to create. I wondered: Did I subconsciously sabotage this connection? Was I really ready for what I thought I wanted?
What I’ve seen in clients—and in myself
I have a client who often defaults to anger and resentment when new responsibilities are added to her plate. It’s her brain’s way of saying, “This is too much.” The resentment isn’t the problem—it’s the unspoken needs underneath it that build up until they burst.
She’s learning to recognize resentment earlier. To name her needs before they explode. And to trust herself enough to speak them out loud.
Clearing emotions—whether through the Emotion Code, bodywork, or breath—helps all of us get there. Not to become perfect, but to become more aware of what’s running in the background.
What clearing emotions has taught me
The only reason I didn’t lash out that day is because I’ve done a lot of emotional work. I recognized that my mind was echoing old scripts—not my present self. I knew that if I reacted from my wounded place, I’d damage something that could’ve been valuable.
That’s the real power of clearing emotions.
Not perfection.
Not control.
But the space to choose your response when it really matters.
A few questions for you to reflect on:
Who triggers your anger—and why?
What habits or communication styles change when you feel resentment?
What are the unspoken expectations you place on others?
Where do you need to set better boundaries—or honor someone else’s?
You don’t have to talk it all out.
Sometimes, clearing the energy is the thing that shifts everything.
It doesn’t mean you’re bitter or broken. It means you’re human.
But if you’re ready to stop spinning in it—I can help.
I offer Emotional Balance Sessions that help you identify and remove trapped resentment from your body, so you can respond more calmly, feel more empowered, and stop repeating patterns that no longer serve you.
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